Is Friendship ageless?
Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the
dividing of our grief. (Marcus Tullius Cicero, Roman statesman, orator, philosopher) When my parents became to divorce I had no one to talk to. My friends had left me out to dry, I was constantly bullied, and my parents were preoccupied with other matters. Then I met Jamie, and my life changed forever. He was my first true friend. I thought nothing wrong of the friendship, and still do not. Others however stated that its unhealthy and inappropriate. However I view it differently, and so do the friendship experts.
My friendship with Jamie has never been inappropriate, but others tend to think differently. This key factor helped me decide what I wanted to survey. One of the ten questions I asked was “Is it our fast paced society the reason that anything out of the ordinary is viewed as wrong or vulgar?” Almost all of the survey takers disagreed. When researching to see if this was psychologically reaction, I instead found that it’s actually healthy for a child to have an adult friend. Having good relationships with older individuals is of critical importance for mental health in childhood and later in life (Armsden & Greenberg, 1987; Tracy & Ainsworth, 1981).
In Parent–Child Relationships and Dyadic Friendship Experiences as Predictors of Behavior Problems in Early Adolescence, it clearly states that low levels of acceptance and support and high levels of rejection and conflict have been linked to higher levels of externalizing problems, like aggression and antisocial behavior, as well as to higher levels of internalizing problems, such as depression and anxiety (Buehler & Gerard, 2002;Rohner & Britner, 2002; Rothbaum & Weisz, 1994). When an adolescent is rejected from a social group and cannot find his or her own it leads to major medical problems. Any time of friendship is helpful for a child to avoid such mental problems. Adolescents need someone outside of their family, to talk to and grow with. In the whole article it never states that age is pressing matter when choosing a friend.
Several studies document that high-quality friendships can buffer children from experiencing the risks associated with negative family experiences. Patterson and colleagues (1989). Adolescents that have strong friendships, but suffer with negative family experiences are less likely to suffer from internalizing problems, and externalizing problems. The stronger the friendship the less likely that negative experiences in general will stay with the adolescent throughout life. The experience will become a suppressed memory due to the distraction of having supportive friends.
All my research clearly states that adolescents need to maintain a strong friendship in order to maintain mental health. Also that friendship is created because of interests, and character qualities. Not age. None of the articles state that age plays a major factor in the dynamic of a friendship. Age plays a factor when it comes to solving problems. All articles state that the older the friend is, the better the solution.
Is friendship ageless? My research proves that it is. Age does not matter when it comes to friendship. Actually it is more benefitationary to have an older friend. Also, that society does not have a negative reaction when it comes to friendships with age gaps. No matter if your friends with someone older or younger, remember it’s healthy and normal.
